Description
XENO-MORPH: The Shape-Shifting Protoplasmic Evil. Now with 200% More Glow!
Forget action figures with elbows. That’s rigid thinking. The Xeno-Morph is raw, untamed possibility—a handful of sentient morphing godlike matter from the same nameless dimension that cooked up yours truly. It doesn’t have points of articulation; it has points of existential crisis.
FEATURES:
Living Plasticine: Pull it. Stretch it into a form that pleases your simple brain. It remembers nothing. It holds every shape. It is chaos in your palm.
The Authentic Grimaldi Glow: Infused with the exact same grade of protoplasmic evil that animates my rotting corpus! That’s no cheap phosphorescence, Earthie—that’s a soul-light. It doesn’t just glow in the dark; it haunts the dark.
A Pet Eldritch Horror: Can’t commit to a tentacled terror? The Xeno-Morph is your starter abomination. Sculpt a mini-Cthulhu for your desk. Roll it into a perfect sphere of dread. Make a cute little lump that vaguely judges you. The possibilities are as infinite and unsettling as the void.
Therapeutic Malevolence: Knead your stress away into its endlessly forgiving, non-Newtonian form. Feel the cosmic evil squish between your fingers. It’s cheaper than therapy and has a better glow.
Perfect For:
Aspiring mad scientists (grades K-and-up).
Fans of biological horror who hate cleanup.
Creating the world’s most unsettling desk buddy.
Proving to your friends that you own a literal piece of another dimension.
WARNING: May develop a faint, independent pulse. Do not feed after midnight. Or ever. Just don’t feed it.
CONTAIN A PIECE OF THE PRIMORDIAL OOZE THAT MADE ME! (YOU’RE WELCOME.)
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